Back to Reality

I'm getting a little nervous about tomorrow. I'm not really sure what we are going to find out tomorrow. I suppose he will go into more detail about what they found in the PET Scan, and discuss his plan for treatment. I will have to consider what he says while taking into account that we have a 2nd opinion coming up in January. I really like this Doctor and have a feeling that whatever he says will be confirmed by Dr. Chesa. It will be such a relief to hold off on any treatments if he wants to wait and see, but it would also be weird to do nothing. Obviously, there isn't anything that will be said at any of these appointments that will be what I really want to hear, so I'm not even going to try and anticipate what will be done tomorrow. You know, it was a relief to hear that nothing needed to be done before this meeting, but then there is always that little thought lurking in the back of my mind that maybe that is because there is no use in doing anything and he didn't want to tell me that over the phone. Or more likely, there isn't any sense in doing anything until it gets worse. And what will worse feel like? And how will I know if something is a symptom, or nothing at all? All the symptoms I've had all these months, and gone to doctors about. have always been explained away or gone away and ignored. Now when I write them down on all the stupid paperwork I have to fill out these days, I see a laundry list of lymphoma syptoms. It will be nice when I'm more used to this and I know what to ignore and what not to ignore. Hopefully, I'll get some sleep tonight and tomorrow will be just another day of information gathering and figuring out the next step.